Occupied in Davis

Just when you thought things were starting to wind down... a trigger happy campus cop goes and sets off a pepper-infused firestorm. Here we go again...

Suddenly the spotlight has been nudged East of Oakland to neighboring community Davis, where... well... this happened.

And while it did give birth to a hilarious internet sensation, it also pissed a lot of people off. A LOT of people. Like... this many:

Thousands gathered in the campus quad to collectively proclaim "Don't taze me, bro" (with pepper spray), and to demand that chancellor Linda Katehi resign. It was quite the scene.

Well, to cut to the chase (literally), my week or two of chasing after Katehi for interviews landed me in the line of sight for several national news outlets. See if anybody looks familiar:

It's nice to finally get a little screen time! Like a much more attractive version of Where's Waldo (if I do say so myself...). This is easily my biggest role since 2005's "Guy Buying Sink Parts" in a Roseburg, OR Ace Hardware commercial. Oh yes, this star is gonna shine!

Key to the City! (Featuring Tesla)

I've always heard about important people receiving a "key to the city"... a key that may or may not be able to open any door within the city limits. I never believed the legends, because no man could possibly be trusted with such power. I mean... they could get into candy stores after hours! Pet any of the animals at the zoo! Release all the prisoners in the jail and force them to perform some sort of Michael Jackson dance routine! If this were true, who could possibly be trusted to wield such power?

I know who you're thinking of, so let's say it at the same time. Ready? One... Two... Three!

TESLA!!

Wait, who did you say? Oh come on, I would trust Tesla over Batman any day of the week!

That's right, Sacramento's hometown heroes received the Key to the City from superstar mayor Kevin Johnson, who even went as far as to declare the day "Tesla Day" in Sacramento!

This is easily the biggest day in Sacramento history since the mayor declared "Wendy Williams Day" back in September! Golly, the 2012 calendar is going to be full of holidays next year!

So congratulations to Tesla, who are celebrating their biggest moment since July's nationally televised interview with famed journalist Alfonzo Beta. Just keep that damn key away from my house (and the numerous treasure chests I keep in my garage)!!