Obviously Julia is a dumb bitch, because that wasn't how story went at all.
Instead, Humphrey got confused and traveled all the way to the Sacramento area. Quickly becoming famous, greedy bastards capitalized on his unintentional adventure, hawking t-shirts, stuffed animals, and even a "Humphrey Special Pizza" at a pizzaria in Rio Vista. Using various sounds amplified through the water, scientists eventually led Humphrey back down the river and under the Golden Gate Bridge, which took him back out to sea.
Now, some 22 years later, it has happened again.
And, like any good sequel, this version comes with a spunky sidekick.
Two whales, a mother and its child, have made their way up Humphrey's path over the past few days and are now stuck in the Port of Sacramento. Since they haven't been given clever names yet, I'll take the honor of naming them
Madeline and
Free Willy 2. Confused, hungry and injured, Madeline and FW2 have been circling the area all day, unsure of how to return to the open sea. Luckily, a crack team of scientists are on the case... and so is every news team within a drivable distance!
Thus, my story begins...
Whale Watching: Day 1
Whale Sightings: 0
My journey begins in Rio Vista, a small town along the river about an hour from Sacramento. The whales had been spotted on their way up the river the day before and were expected to be in the area this morning. I loaded up and headed Southwest to the quaint city. We, along with several other stations, brought the story to you live. However, I did not see any whales in the vicininty... although there was a lovely sunrise.
Whale Watching: Day 2
Whale Sightings: 0
The whales have reached Sacramento! Finding themselves in the Port of Sacramento, they became confused and began circling back and forth. It was also reported that the whales were injured, possibly from fishing lines. Even more confused were the locals, who showed up at various bodies of water expecting to see whales but finding none. Despite their willingness to buy stupid t-shirts and crappy dolls, none were made available yet (local vendors probably have them on back-order). I was sent down to a tributary, or slew, or something, where the whales were expected to head next. Despite the small size of this river, I was told that they'd be passing by. They didn't. Another day gone, another day without seeing whales.
Whale Watching: Day 3
Whale Sightings: Some!
Finally, after several days of covering this story, I got to see a goddamn whale! However, it took some time before that happened. For the morning show, I was once again sent down river for a live shot in case the whales headed that way. Granted, this is a valid theory, and if it had happened, it would have been the best coverage around. But, since it didn't, my morning was a little slow.
However, things picked up later in the morning, when I headed back to the port to cover the press conference. On my way there... I finally saw a whale!
Now, if you had asked me a few days ago, I would have told you that I had witnessed a media circus in my time. Well, let me tell you, now I can genuinly say that I have.
At the press conference, I counted eleven live trucks, which didn't include the various microwave and satellite trucks set up across the port. That's right... this was
real news.
Despite several attempts at using whale sounds, it seemed to be ineffective, although it was still too early to tell. Everyone was hoping for the best, but hopefully not before the t-shirt and poster orders came in.
The real hilight of the day came when my reporter was chatting with the lieutenant governor. Apparently they, along with many other people present, had been there 22 years earlier when Humphrey had come through. "It's like one big reunion!" one of them commented. I was 2 years old at the time. Boy, that makes me feel inexperienced.
Whale Watching: Day 4
Whale Sightings: A Bunch!
At last, after several days of being posted at possible whale locations, I got to do a live shot at the port where the whales actually were. One live truck was posted up front, where the reporter would go live. The other, which was manned by myself, was posted about half a mile down the road to focus solely on getting shots of the whales. After yet another awesome sunrise, we were ready to roll.
The whales were pretty active today, coming up once or twice every couple of minutes. Certainly a strange experience, considering that we were in the middle of a fairly large state.
Of course, every time we got to this story in the 2 hour morning show, they were nowhere to be found. We'd get to the story just before or after they came to the surface. As a result, we had no live shots of the whales, at least not from my end. Hey, just doin my part.
Oh, and I thought yesterday's press conference was wild... This one managed to outdo it. I counted 14 live trucks in the port, along with two satellite trucks. All the colors of the rainbow... from CNN to Univision!
Good luck, Madeline and Free Willy 2! Hopefully you can find your way back home before the end of the weekend, so that I don't have to spend another week out there waiting for you to do something. You know, there are house fires and car accidents that need news coverage too!
The Drunken Adventure
And let's not forget the necessary Day-After Supplies! Among other things, I managed to get a serious gash in my finger playing fooseball. It's been a while since lame-yet-bloody injuries were a regular thing.
The Big O
A brief history of the big O- Some years ago, perhaps 5ish, some fine friends were at a local mall, where a Montgomery Ward had just closed down, leaving the gigantic letters from their sign in a nearby dumpster. Noticing that the two "O"s in the name looked just like the Oregon "O", they fished them out and passed one off to me. With a little green and yellow spraypaint and a heafty chain, "The Big O" hung in a tree in my back yard until this past weekend, when it was retired and handed off to a new home, where it will hopefully be as appreciated as it was in mine.
