Alfonzo Getting Smart?

Word has started getting around that a certain mustached beta tape has become a rising star in Sacramento. From his playboy antics to his A-list cronies, everyone wants to say they've met the infamous tape-about-town.

Today, Photocalypse photographers managed to catch him fraternizing with actress Amy Smart at a Sacramento Italian restaurant.

Both refused to comment on whether the two were "a couple", but upon closer investigation it seems quite clear that there is some sort of a love connection between the two.

Is that a heart I see at the beginning of her signature? Folks, I think it's official!

She was also seen chatting with some other local news crews at the green energy event that she was hosting...

...but her eyes remained on the beta tape throughout the festivities.

Keep an eye on the tabloids, it might not be long before Amy Beta is staring in the next Crank movie!

Rockin' with Green Day

If you ask me, there's nothing better than tossing back a few brews and rockin out with a band who's back catalog you know with some familiarity. Tonight, some NorCal locals passed through town, and I wasn't about to pass them up.

The always entertaining Green Day rocked Sacramento, offering a hearty set that must have lasted over 2 1/2 hours at Arco Arena. For a couple of punks from the East Bay, I will say that these boys put on one hell of a show.

But before they hit the stage, I'll admit that I had my doubts. For starters, I didn't used to be a huge Green Day fan. Back in my earlier days, my brother was the Green Day fan, while I was much more of a Metallica fan. He had his music, I had mine, and there may or may not have been an argument or two over who is superior. It wasn't until 2004, amidst a turbulent political cycle in the nation's history, that a friend handed me a burned copy of American Idiot and insisted that it was excellent. And, I have to say, that was an excellent album. From there I learned much of their back catalog, and have since purchased their new album, and I will now vouch for them as being an excellent band.

Plus they're from the East Bay, my neck of the woods (and there are stories to be told from that... for another day), so I'm always happy to support a local band.

But that aside, I will say that as I entered the venue, I couldn't help but notice that they were straying a bit from their anti-establishment punk roots. Not that I have anything against their success... but I saw several tour T-shirts (and their tour bus) sporting Verison and Blackberry logos. Along with that, there was a sign at the toll booth declaring "no cameras allowed inside". A bicycle patrol that forced people to pour out their beers (what ever happened to tailgating?!) was also sure to remind people that no cameras were allowed inside.

However, with a little strategery (choosing the line with a confused old lady doing the searching), Photocalypse cameras had to problems making entry.

It was an excellent show. Heavy on the new stuff, but not without the mandatory classics. Have these guys sold out? Totally, but that's not a bad thing. I saw them about 10 years ago on the Warped Tour, where they played a 30 minute set (and I crowd surfed for the first time... I used to be skinnier) and weren't much more than some punks hollering about fighting The Man. They were good, but certainly different from what they are today. They've evolved into a big production arena band, with crazy pyros and theatrics, which surprisingly fits them quite well.

The best part about the extensive set was the crowd interaction. They must have had 10, maybe 15 fans pulled onto the stage throughout the show, most of whom were kids. They got to sing the songs, rile up the crowd, and one kid who was holding a sign saying he flew from Israel to see the show got to play guitar for the 10-minute Jesus of Suburbia. Check this out- Billy Joe kicks out some dude that was trying to start a fight, then requests that a child come on stage so he can be "saved":

Talk about having a good day for a 10-year-old. And I thought I was cool because I met Ronald McDonald when I was young.

All around, a kick-ass, high energy show. I was very much impressed.

David Cook Meets Mustacio de Beta

For some reason, I seem to have been elected the American Idol corespondent for our station. I've been shipped out to LA for the season finale, sent backstage to interview those on the Idols tour, and had a few additional encounters here and there. Not that I'm complaining- I enjoy the occasional fluff story and semi-celebrity interview. It's just that I've never really been a fan of the show, although I will say that American Idol has gotta be the most brilliant money-making gimmick of all time. I just wish I had thought of it first.

So who's passing through the Sac this time? Why, it's 2008's winner David Cook, who is rockin' out on the first day of the California State Fair. He's offering media availability, so who do they send? Why, the expert, of course.

I will say... nice guy. Friendly, genuine and very appreciative of his fans and the show. That can't be said about all of the AI alumni, at least the handful that have crossed my path, so I will give him mad ups for that. Well, that and the fact that he was open to a stupid, juvenile request from a small-time photog...

You never know how somebody's going to react when offered a tape with a mustache. Fellow Idol-alumn Adam Lambert was amused and willing to sign the tape. Former UFC champ Chuck Liddell seemed confused and slightly concerned, although to his credit he did sign the thing. David Cook was happy to oblige with a quick photo-op, and got a good chuckle when introduced to ol' Alfonzo, so I gotta give the guy a thumbs-up for going along with the ludicrous request.

The two songs I got to shoot didn't sound all that bad either, not that I'm a fan or anything... I'm just sayin.

Sein-Language

True brilliance only comes along every so often in this media saturated society. The film District 9, for example, is a brilliant movie, but it'll likely fail to live up to the success of such class-acts as Transformers and GI Joe. But hey, what can you do.

That being said, I will say that I'll jump on any opportunity to view a true genius in action. When I heard that Jerry Seinfeld was gonna be passing through town, I knew that I couldn't miss it.

Despite a hefty price tag, bordering on the $80 (balcony) line, I was ready and willing to line up to see the master in action. And, boy-howdy, I wasn't disappointed.

Stand-up is undeniably what this man was put on this earth to do. Some are placed here to rule the country, others are here to serve you coffee. This man is here to make you laugh. And he does what he's here to do.

From the second he stepped on stage (more on that second to come), I was laughing heartily. Now, it wasn't until fairly recently that I began venturing into the world of stand-up entertainment. It started with an evening with the always frustrated Lewis Black last year, which was followed up with an appearance by the musically comical Flight of the Conchords. Both were highly entertaining, but none could compare to the undeniable master of stand-up comedy.

You'd think that after all these years, and all those shows, that he'd be plumb out of observational humor to feed to the masses. But no. He came out quick, and he hit us hard, and there's no doubt that he is still the master of comedy.

He started out with a quick shot at Sacramento, pointing out the minuscule amount of park space in downtown, referring to Cesar Chavez park as a "square of nature". Then some people walked in late, and he said "oh, please come in and sit down, the show's just about to start!". A true master.

He made fun of cell phones. Blackberries. Relationships. Children. Computers. Television weather forecasts. This, that and the other. And it was all hilarious. The man is a master at his art, and my hat is off to him. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

Now, here's the one and only problem I had with the show... In all previous experiences with stand-up comedians (there were 2, as previously mentioned), there was a bit of an intermission between the opening act and the main act (the opening act, by the way, was excellent. Some guy named Larry something (not David). Very good), allowing you to go to the bathroom, grab another drink, etc. Since there was a sign declaring that you could bring alcohol into the theater, I decided to grab a few Oak Sodas to accompany me to the show. "Heck," I figured, " I'll have plenty of time during the intermission to clear the ol' tankers."

So... as the opening act finished, I prepared to head to the lil' boy's room, when suddenly... Jerry ran out on stage! Absolutely zero time between acts. Now, normally this would be considered a plus... But damnit, I had to go. But I held out, as I was in the presence of the Great Master, and I wasn't about to miss it (especially considering the ticket price).

An hour or so into the set, it started getting ugly. And, to top it off, we had seats in the middle of the 70 seat isle (it seemed like a good idea when I bought the seats). There have been plenty of times where I've had to hold it, but sweet Jesus, it was getting ugly. I started telling myself, "OK, it sounds like he's starting to wrap it up... This has gotta be the last set..." Then what does he do? He does a bit on how annoying it is when people have to get up and push their way down the aisle! Well damnit, now what am I supposed to do?!

Yeah, it got ugly. To quote a coworker on a former adventure, "Maybe if I start crying, urine will come out in my tears". Yeah, it was that bad.

Finally, it got to the point where I had to declare, "F*ck it. I don't care what this guy has to say." I pushed my way through a 30-person thick aisle, none of whom were all that pleased with me, in order to relieve a pain that no man should have to face.

I wasn't pleased with myself, and I missed a good portion of his set, but hell... they should have had an intermission. That's all I have to say about that.

After Jerry said goodnight, he came back out on stage for a 5 minute Anything Goes Q-and-A, which was awesome, except that no one asked any decent questions. Still, I thought it was cool.

One person asked if he'd be back in TV anytime soon. He gave a solid "No", declaring that he was "Old, rich and tired". Indeed he is, but he still is willing to go out on the road and do what he was put on this earth to do. For that, I commend him. I also nearly wet my pants, and I'm not proud to admit that.

If I had a Pez dispenser, I'd be clapping it in his direction. Bravo.

The Great Cancun Adventure

One day, some months ago, I was walking through the newsroom, when a coworker said to me, "Hey, you wanna go to Cancun?" I shrugged and said "Um, ok". And so it began.

I was in need of a little change-up to the everyday routine, and I'm certainly not one to turn down an adventure, so I was in. Now, I know what you're thinking- A vacation, in this economy? Well, someone stumbled across an all-inclusive deal for $350. Hotel, airfare, food, booze(!), all for no more that $350. I figured it probably wasn't gonna be A-class all the way around for that price, but heck, I couldn't argue with the price, which seemed to cancel out any further doubts. Swine flu? $350. Hurricane season? $350. Drug wars? Heck, $350.

So I was in. And we went. And it was a good time. Oh, and I brought some company.

So the hotel wasn't great... It took us over an hour to check in, despite being third in line, and the lobby wasn't air conditioned. Neither was the elevator, which was like a sauna on a cable. Also the A/C in our room stopped working on the last night, and the toilet clogged twice. They also didn't clean our room. But hey, $350. We got what we paid for and we had little to legitimately complain about. Besides, who's hanging around the rooms when you're in Cancun?

Now I gotta say, I've been around the world on countless adventures, but never before have I seen ocean that looks like this. Something about the blue-green color just blew my mind, and this picture doesn't do it justice, but I have to say it was awe-inspiring.

The best part about the all-inclusive deal was the constant influx of free alcohol. It wasn't good alcohol, and most of their margaritas and other blended drinks would be considered sub-par at best, but when there's a free bar stationed around every corner, it was hard to argue.

Lots of time spent at the pool and the beach, plus we ventured out to get in some snorkeling action (non-all-inclusive), and although we were only there for two full days, it made for quite an adventure.

The only downside was the abundance of travel time. On the way back, we had to leave the hotel at 9:30 am, fly to Chicago (for some reason), face a 4 hour layover (they don't even have any Chicago pizza restaurants in the massive airport), then fly to Sac, getting us in around 11:30 pm. Yeah, a long day. And, while it was only $350, it was an exhausting venture (especially considering the full work week that followed), leaving me in dire need of a vacation.

Still, an adventure for the ages. Plus it was Alfonzo's first time out of the country. There's sure to be more adventures to follow.