The Idol Adventure Part 3: Media Room Mayhem

During all the time I've spent in Hollywood (it must be coming close to a week's worth of days in my 28 years on this planet), one thing has become abundantly clear: If your're somebody, you don't have to prove that you're somebody. That is to say... if you're a cool guy, you don't have to prove to people you're cool, you just are.

I've come to realize that this is blatantly demonstrated in the ancient art of the red carpet walk. Sure, there were plenty of stars seen walking into the big season finale of American Idol... but once the show got underway, you begin to realize that there are a LOT of people there that didn't bother with the red carpet formalities. Fortunately, many of these A-listers made their way into the "Media Room" (AKA the basement of the Nokia Theater) during the show, and Photocalypse photographers were there to capture the magic!

Now let me start this off by saying that Aerosmith's Big Ones greatest hits album was one of the first CDs that I ever bought as a lowly 6th grader trying to figure out what music was cool. That being said, I was pretty stoked when judge Steven Tyler walked in and stood feet away from me, ready to address the Media Elite.

Now, being in the presence of this rock god, I noticed many new things that I never noticed before (aside from the ridiculous crotch on his pants...)

As I snapped away at this legend, I discovered that as each second passed, the man expressed a completely different emotion. No two photos were the same, and each could be interpereted differently. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself...

And frankly, none of them looked happy... so I'm sure glad I didn't have to sing in front of the guy! As he was walking out of the room, I said "Thanks Steven", and he looked at me and nodded. It was a special moment.

But not about to be shown up, two little Irishmen known as Bono and The Edge came swaggering in... along with "Spider-Man"? Damn, beat that Steven!

As I'm sure you all know, the finer half of U2 has been working on the music for Broadway's tragedy-stricken Spider-Man musical, which was showcased during the finale. After nabbing a front row seat in the media room, I didn't hear much of what they were saying, because I was kinda freaking out that I was sitting right next to Bono and The Edge. Anything I said or did, they would react to... which is to say I was way to shy to ask any questions.

As they wrapped up, The Edge looked at me and smiled. Much like the time Kobe yelled at me, it was a very surreal experience. When you're so used to seeing these people on TV, it's very strange to see them in person, and acknowledge that you exist.

It was all very odd, to say the least.

Then, as the show was wrapping up and the two finalists came on stage to announce the winner (we were watching on TVs), the audio cut out in the media room as a voice announced, "We now have Tom Jones for you". To this, the audience of media monkeys started shouting and booing, as the winner was being annoucned at that moment. Yes, Tom Jones got bumped. It's not unusual... and so forth.

After the winner was declared and the show ended, Tom finally came out... but no one was really paying attention because they were all scrambling to get their headlines written. Sorry, Mr. Jones.

So that pretty much wraps up the Great American Idol Adventure of 2011. Friendships were made, ancient bonds were broken and sleep was deprived to countless journalists. But hey, all in the name of News!

See y'all again next year? We'll see... but hey, me and Steven go way back, so they'll probably send me again! If not... perhaps Alfonzo can just go in my place. I hear he works cheap and he's non-union.

The Idol Adventure Part 2: Beta and the Stars

Two years ago, a plucky young beta tape that grew up in Eugene, Oregon packed his bags and traveled to Los Angeles with stars in his eyes. Hoping to one day become an A-list Hollywood reporter like famed journalists Mark McGrath and Mario Lopez, young Alfonzo headed to the Nokia Theater to cover the American Idol finale. At the end of the trip, he scored an exclusive interview with runner-up Adam Lambert, and his rise to fame began.

Flash forward two years, and you'll find a very different beta tape roaming the red carpet. Rather than the shy little outdated format that he was, Alfonzo has become a powerhouse in the entertainment news industry, with stars lining up to get a few words (and a photo) with him. My, how he's grown!

2011 American Idol Scotty McCreery, that little fella with the big country voice, was the first to sit down with the tape.

The two discussed a range of topics, from winning the Idol crown to Scotty's hopes of one day growing a mustache as regal as Mr. Beta's (ranked #2 in the media industry, behind Geraldo but ahead of Ron Burgandy). Nice kid, who is sure to go far after joining the elite Idol Champ Club. Speaking of which...

2010 Idol Lee DeWyze stopped by for a one-on-one with the tape as well. The Fonz missed out on last year's Idol Adventure, so he was pleased to get caught up with the crooner.

But before they could get too deep into the interview, 2009 winner Kris Allen pushed his way in, insisting it was his turn for a few minutes with Alfonzo. Calm down boys, there's plenty of 'stache to go around!

When you throw in Alfonzo's 2009 interview with David Cook, you'll see that The Fonz has managed interviews with American Idol's winners from the past four years. Not bad for a little yellow tape! A few other famed contestants pushed their way in for an interview, including the legendary Sanjaya...

...and Jason Castro, who ambushed Alfonzo in his hotel's parking garage as he was trying to check in (well... it may have been the other way around, I can't really remember).

But Idols weren't the only ones haging around the Nokia Theater this week. Along with some of the big names previously mentioned, famed rapper/shouter Lil' Jon found himself holding a tape with a mustache... something that he just clearly did not understand.

You'd think that a guy who's musical career has consisted of shouting "What!" and "Yeah!" would have a sense of humor (have you seen his teeth?!), but no. He seemed confused at the concept of taking a picture with a funny looking tape, making him the only person in Alfonzo's impressive rolodex that just flat out didn't get it (although Chuck Liddell seemed a little confused too). He didn't even give me a solid "WHAT?" when I explained the routine. What a disappointment.

So there you have it, another bigtime event with dominating coverage from the legendary beta tape. I can't wait to see what kind of wacky hijinks this guy gets himself into next!

The Idol Adventure Part 1: Workin' the Red Carpet

Back in '09, I went on a great adventure. A great Idol Adventure. It had all the elements of a classic legend, and was the first step in celebrity journalist Alfonzo Beta's rise to fame.

Two years later, I've just returned from my second bout with with the media beast known as the American Idol Finale. Broken, beaten and sleep-deprived, I can once again declare victory in an epic battle of too much to do, not enough time, and constant declarations of "why the hell doesn't this piece of junk work".

The only difference? This time around I was a seasoned veteran and knew the battlefield all too well. That, and I was acting as a satellite truck operator rather than a photog... which basically means I get to have all the fun and dump the deadlines on the shoulders of others. That's not to say I wasn't pulling my hair out with worry and frustration... just that it could have been worse if I had to do everything myself.

So rather than attack the situation with a video camera and a mic, as is my usual style, I grabbed Lil Snappy (my personal camera) and shot some photos for a website gallery. Now still photography is a whole different game that I have little experience in, but it turned out to be an exciting adventure none-the-less. And when you've got some big time stars walking down a red carpet, it makes for a fun afternoon. Here are some hilights:

Judas Priest

From across the red carpet, I saw an old bald man's head bobbing around in the crowd. Jokingly, I said to my coworkers "That looks like f'ing Rob Halford over there", thinking he was a bodyguard or something. No one knew who I was talking about, but as he got closer I noticed a strange glimmer coming from his suit. Once he came into full view and I saw how ridiculous he looked, I knew it had to be the rock god himself. Of course I didn't see much of the show this year and was unaware that 4th placer James Durbin sang some of their tunes. While they passed us by on the red carpet without offering an interview, I still thought it was pretty darn cool that they walked past me. Oh, and speaking of...

James Durbin

The third runner-up (by my math) stopped by for a quick shout-out to Sactown. Again, I didn't see much of this season, coming into it the week after he was voted off (watching for work purposes). I wasn't too familiar with him, but my mom had mentioned that he was her favorite (she's my contact when it comes to anything Idol). Turns out the guy's got a hell of a rock voice, showing up Old Man Halford as they performed together on the finale show. I'm curious to see what this kid can do with himself now that the show's over. Oh... and of course I was sure get a quick message for his #1 fan...





Jack Black

I think this was the big surprise of the day for me... I saw a short pudgy guy getting out of a limo, and I had to ask someone if that was who it looked like. Why would he be here? I only expected to see Idols and perhaps a few musicians. Turns out he was one of the "surprise musical guests" in the show. We were fortunate enough to be placed right after the photo section of the red carpet, so we were able to shout and get his attention before he really knew what was going on. That turned into a quick interview before he made a dash for the front doors, leaving all the other local media stations in the dust. Score!

Carrie Underwood

Easily the most successful of the Idol alumni, Carrie shot past all the small media outlets, including ours, as she made her way in... but I figured she deserved an honorable mention. I gotta say, you can't take a bad picture of this woman! Everyone that passed by provided several throw-away photos as I snapped away like a madman looking for something usable... but not her. Every one of the photos was perfect. Incredible. And that's all I have to say about that.

Adam Lambert

2009's runner-up made a flashy entrance, proving that he's grown into a star since he lost the title two years ago. I'm glad to see that he's made something of himself, as he was such a grateful kid when we chatted the day after his loss (and he signed Alfonzo Beta's head:)

Nice guy, even if he did pass right by us without a word (like he didn't remember!)... but in his defence, it was minutes before the show started. Let this be a lesson Adam: Show up on time next year so that you can talk to the lowly Media Elite.

Scotty and Lauren

Of course the royal couple had to be mentioned... finalists Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina, who provided the final competition with a whole lotta country. They didn't say much as they made their way in moments before the show, but we were able to grab Scotty for a quick second to confirm that he does in fact look a lot like local reporter Chris Biele.

Working the red carpet was quite an adventure, but there's plenty more to tell. In the coming days, we'll take you inside the press room for some more wacky celebrity sightings, and we'll examine some of the big names that were lucky enough to be seen partying with entertainment reporter Alfonzo.

Stay tuned!

Cinco de Rap-O

Cinco de Mayo has become one of the great American holidays, which is to say it's joined St. Patrick's Day, New Years Eve and the Super Bowl as a day where you can get boozed up and party without the overbearing judgement of society. And when it comes to partying, Sactown isn't known for calling it an early night.

Or day, as the case may be, as for the past several years there's been Cinco de Mayo concerts thrown in town, featuring some notable names. A few years back, I joined Akon on stage for a very rainy fiesta (all I remember is that he kept yelling "convict music"... still not sure what that means). Jump forward a few years, and you'll find that the event has upgraded both its artists and its venue.

After closing down a few blocks along the Capitol Mall, Sactown was ready to party. And what says Cinco de Mayo better than some hard core street rap!

FloRida (whose songs can be found pretty much anywhere these days) was the main act, and you'd better believe he brought plenty of "shawdies" along to party (another term I find confusing, as none of these women were particularly short).

While I wasn't entirely sure who the guy was at the beginning of the day, I was pleased to discover (as I was on stage with him) that I was well aware of every song that he performed. And (unlike some other acts), it appeared as if he was actually singing all of his songs himself (I know, right?). Not bad, Mr. Rida. If I were to find myself stumbling upon him performing again (preferably at no monitary cost to me), I'd be happy to stick around and jive to some of his fancy jigs.

But Flo wasn't the only one hippin' and a hoppin' around the stage. Nelly, whose songs all seemed to remind me of things people said in high school, was also present and ready to "Ride Wit Me". Well, maybe not me, but you know... other people (probably "shawdies")

I caught up with Mr. Nelly on his way out of the venue for a few quick words... turns out he's a fan of local sports anchor Jim Crandell (which is to say, JC is a big fan of his). He offered these words to the local sports guru...

Yeah, I'm not sure what he said either, but I'm pretty sure he finished it with "I'll kill ya later!" Is that what kids are saying these days instead of "see ya later"? I'll kill ya later! Man... this adventure really made me feel old and out of touch. Doesn't anybody listen to Europe anymore? What a crazy world we live in.

I'm really hoping that next year they can throw in Slayer or perhaps Testament to the line-up, because... you know... that makes just as much sense for a Cinco de Mayo party as Nelly or FloRida.

Dangers of the Job

It's no secret that the life of a photog can be a dangerous one. Chasing down forest fires, tornadoes, gangstas and nudists comes with its risks, which helped bump the career to #4 on this year's 10 Most Stressful Jobs list. Some may call us heroes, others... perhaps less than flattering adjectives (my personal best was "F'ing cockroaches!"), but it's all in the name of journalism. Just doin' my job, ma'am.

But one of the more hazardous elements to the job requires a skill that few have mastered, mostly because it's impossible to master... the infamous backwards-run-down-the-street-after-a-subject. Yes, a big-ass bulky camera leaves you with many blind spots, and not having eyes in the back of your head doesn't help, so you must be cautious when attempting this maneuver. But even the best in the biz have their off days... Gavin Maloof, co-owner of the Kings, provided one unfortunate professional with just such an incident...



So next time you see a courageous photojournalist running backwards down the street, feel free to give a shout if they're about to slam into something (you people are usually honking and shouting at us anyway). You just might get a hug for it.