Changes in the Newsroom

As many of you may have heard, we are soon going to be losing a key member to our news team. He has been around for years and his talents and sense of humor have helped build friendships throughout the newsroom. I'm talking, of course, about Beta Tape, or "Tapie", as he's affectionately known around the station. Tapie has decided to take a job at another station, where Lil' Richter's illigitimate father, Normal Size Richter, hired him. Here he can be seen playing in the snow last spring break at Lake Tahoe-

While it is unfortunate that we lose such an important element to our operation, we must continue to look towards the future. Earlier today, Tapie's replacement was introduced to the newsroom. Please allow me to introduce his non-union Mexican equivalent...

Alfonzo Beta, the second cousin of Tapie, was hired earlier today. We are excited to have him as a part of our team and look forward to working with him in the future! Here we see the new chief photographer, Union Yoda, saying goodbye to Tapie as he welcomes Alfonzo to the team.

Tapie and Alfonzo enjoyed a day together as Alfonzo was trained in all the duties that Tapie formally held.
Alfonzo and Tapie, we wish you both the best of luck!!

EXCLUSIVE: Secret Office Romance!

Photocalypse reporters recently uncovered a secret office romance at a local television station. It has become evident that Beta Tape has become involved with a new mystery woman, known only as Lil' Sav.

Despite Tape's innitial claims that the two were "just friends", Photocalypse photographers caught them secretly playing with toys, eating pudding and even holding hands. The evidence is undeniable.



"She's my sugar momma," Tape told our reporters earlier today. "She treats me right and can dance like a newborn baby. I like that."


Will Beta Tape and Lil' Sav live happily in their new Glenwood estate or is this relationship destined for disaster? We'll keep you updated as details emerge!

"The Hedgehog" visits KEZI!!

For those who are unaware, we had quite a surprise at KEZI friday afternoon. Thanks to the good people at CNN, we were graced with the presence of the "biggest adult film star in the world". Ron Jeremy did a live national interview on the KEZI set.

He was doing an interview regarding a woman who had been in a "pornographic" film years ago with him. She changed her name and became a teacher, and now her dirty secret is out. Will she lose her job? The Hedgehog doesn't think that she should. The best part of this situation was hearing the CNN anchor say "The world's biggest adult film star now joins us live from Eugene, Oregon." Good ol' Eugene, a safe haven for the lewd.


Everyone was excited to have a chance to meet the great Ron Jeremy, especially the ladies.



After the interview had finished, he was good enough to hang out for some photos with the 9-News staff. Few people resisted the opportunity.

















Ron Jeremy- A king among men. Because he has a giant dong.