The Jelly Belly Santorum Forum

The legendary pairing of candy and politics goes back many years, to a time known to historians as the Swingin' 80's... a time when then-president and former California governor Ronald Reagan declared his love for a locally produced jelly bean. The company skyrocketed from there, as the two built a powerful and long-lasting relationship.

Yes, the Ex-Prez never looked so delicious.

Hoping to follow in his footsteps, and perhaps soak in some of that mighty Reagan aura, is one Rick Santorum, who hosted a $1000 a plate fundraiser (and I thought The Olive Garden's prices were unreasonable...) at the world famous Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield. Because what says "underdog Republican comeback" like a giant jelly bean diving into an empty lobby?

Big Rick was met by a few hundred enthusiastic supporters, who gathered in the "Wild Cherry Room" to hear his talking points.

For over 30 minutes, The Rickster rambled on about Obama's failures, Iran's grave threats and the dangers of contraception. He was met with cheers, coupled with one minor jeer... a protester (wearing a Santorum 2012 sticker) interrupted the speech by shouting chants along the lines of "Californians stand for marriage equality!"

She was so loud that it seemed like Secret Service (who was there) would swoop in and silence her before it became too big of a deal... but they didn't seem to do anything. After about a minute of her shouts, some of the Santorum supporters came to the back and asked her to quiet down. She did not, and after another minute or two, they finally corralled her out the door. Where the hell were the tazers when you need them, eh?!

After the speech concluded, Santorum made his way around the room offering the typical shaking-hands-and-kissing-babies fare. Media folk like myself moved in with hopes of catching a quick Q-and-A before he made his way out. For some reason, he seemed to ignore the media completely, acting as if the bright lights and mics weren't being prodded into his face. Could this possibly be the result of last week's Bullsh*t gaff?? If only he had visited the week before, it could have been my question that got him to cuss!!

Not that it really matters, because when it comes down to it, Santorum doesn't stand a chance. Not because H.W. endorsed Romney at the same time, but because he's been hit with my curse. You see, every presidential candidate I've covered in my professional career - Dean, Romney, McCain - went on to lose in the election. Yes, Santorum has been hit with the Photocalypse curse, and I'm afraid there's no cure.

Except, perhaps, for a massive intake of jelly beans within a short amount of time. I can only assume that's what he's been doing for the past several hours, because (thanks to the complementary sample bowl) that's all I've been up to. My tummy hurts...

Occupy vs. Nazis: The Ultimate Clash

Tuesday afternoon, I found myself amidst a strangely bizarre scenario akin to some sort of epic comic book cross-over. The legendary Nazis were taking on the rag-tag soldiers of the Occupy movement in an epic clash that was sure to be one for the ages. The day started out so simply... how did it come to this?

"The Nazis only have a permit until 3 PM, so it should be wrapping up soon," I reported back to the assignment desk, taking a moment to appreciate the bizarre nature of that statement. A group of Neo-Nazis, complete with a rally permit, spent several hours standing in front of California's State Capitol to protest "white genocide in South Africa." Interesting.

Across the lawn, a group of counter-protesters formed to declare their distaste for the Neo-Nazi movement and agenda.

Separating the two was a sea of law enforcement officers, ready to lay the smack down if anything got out of control.

All things considered, it was a relatively peaceful event. Choice words were hurled back and forth between the two groups as signs were waved and circles were marched. The Neo-Nazi group said they had a right to express their opinions, while the counter group declared they didn't care for the hateful message. Agree to disagree, I suppose.

Then came the game changer... Marching down the middle of a busy street, hooting and hollering along the way, came dozens of militant Occupiers from out West. Now things should get interesting.

As they intermingled with the counter-protesters, the noise level increased substantially, as the police force separating the two groups suddenly doubled. While Nazis and Occupiers aren't known to functionally co-habitate, the Peace Officer is one of the few natural predators of the Occupier. The focus of the group quickly shifted from denouncing the Nazis to denouncing the police, who had no choice but to keep the two groups separated.

It was clear that the temperament of the mob was starting to boil over, just as 3:00 approached and the Neo-Nazis were going to have to leave. In an effort to prevent a full-scale riot, the police led the Neo-Nazis down the street to a parking garage, while the Occupy group ran along the other side of the street. Both sides were shouting insults back and forth, but it wasn't until a bottle smashed beside my feet that I realized we were in trouble.

I slowly backed away behind a police car as cops in riot gear came rushing in, armed with helmets and clubs. Several officers were hit with paintballs and various projectiles, all from the Occupy side, as the Neo-Nazis retreated into the safety of a parking garage. I was sure to stay behind the police line, knowing that once the clubs start swinging, it's easy to get mistaken for a troublemaker. I just hoped that the teargas didn't start flying, because that stuff's a bitch.

Several arrests were made as the cops descended on the unruly mob. Two officers were injured in the melee, one of which had to be transported to the hospital. Many others were covered in paint.

So in the epic showdown of Occupy vs. Nazi, who came out on top? Ol' Johnny Law, that's who.

Once again, Occupiers managed to bury the message of their protest by getting out of control and violent. You know there's a problem when you face off with a group of Nazis and it's you that comes away looking like the bad guy. You just can't go around throwing stuff at cops... they really don't like it.