Gone Golfin'

"Give me your finest, cheapest golf course," I proclaimed one sunny morn. With that, I was handed Land Park Golf Course. First you must understand: I am not a golf pro. I enjoy playing, I enjoy drinking beer in the sunshine and I enjoy a good conversation. However, I'm not what one would call a "talent". Most of my golfing experience comes from Laurelwood in Eugene, a course where dogs tagged along, transients lived in the woods and the green was more sand than green.

Needless to say, I was not used to the world-class country club lifestyle. Despite this fact, I was still surprised at what I found at Land Park.

Here's the thing about this course... "Land Park" isn't just a clever name. It is a park. A real park, complete with fountains, bbqers and children running amok, as Guapo and I found out this afternoon.

Now, for those who aren't "golf inclined," a golf course isn't a place you really want to hang around if you aren't playing, simply because golf balls can and do hit people, and they're fairly unforgiving. However, this wasn't a concern for the quality parents visiting Land Park today. After Guapo polished up his balls, we were ready to venture.

In addition to the dangerous proximity to unsuspecting picnickers, the course had no signs, other than a few saying not to park the carts on the green. No hole numbers, no distances, no course maps or par listings. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was an actual golf course or just a park where some scumbag dug holes and stuck in flags. Guapo did pretty well... I had seen better days.

At the end of the day, we managed to avoid killing any children (an accomplishment that I reflect on every evening before bed). Certainly one of my more bizarre golfing experiences in recent memory. But hey, I can't complain... they sold "head covers" for only a dollar!