Photocalypse: Political Kiss-assing

Nothin beats politics. It's fun to watch the rich and powerful try to convince the poor and stupid that they're all on the same level, because apparently voters will only vote for people that they can relate to. Thus, we get the elite of our country trying to dumb themselves down to below the common denominator. Whether it's bowling with the common folk, shootin' the breeze with wrestling fans (my favorite voting demographic), or tossing back a shot (more like sipping) with the local boozies, these folks contend for the most powerful job in the world by trying to convince the country that they aren't better than you. If in any way they do appear better than you, then they are labeld an "elitist" or they "don't understand the average American".

Maybe it's just me, but I think that somebody better than me should be in charge. I want the top of Harvard's best to take charge because they'll probably have a good idea of what to do. I want the elite, the guy who's better than everyone else because he's smart and successful. What if your boss was some douchebag that you see every night at the bar yelling at the condom machine? You wouldn't respect him or do anything that he says. Well, let's say that guy was in charge of a country... Do you want Harold from the firing range with his finger on The Button? Of course not, you want that elitist prick who's better than you. You shouldn't be president, and neither should I. Woody Allen (or somebody else) said that he wouldn't want to be a part of any club that would have him as a member. Just because I get drunk and make ridiculous proclamations doesn't mean that the president should. I can't imagine what a country like that would be like.

On a somewhat-related note, I was back home last weekend, visiting with an old childhood pal. We were children of a new revolution, in that video games had forever been present in our lives, dating back to my parents' Atari 2600. Well, we decided to fire up the old Super Nintendo and relive the 1993 classic NBA Jam TE, one of the great works of art of the late 20th century. A fine way to escape from the ridiculousness that modern American politics can present.

But wait a second... why does that point guard look familiar?

No, this can't be... She wouldn't...

Indeed she had. The self-proclaimed "Hil-Rod" just won't give up. She and her husband, the lesser-known "Bill", had taken it upon themselves to ruin my beer-and-video-games day of relaxation by reminding me that I can't escape their desperate grasp.

If I had known in my childhood what I know now, then I definitely would have forgotten the cheat codes to access these wannabe ballers. Alas, memories from my torrid past haunt me still, and the slugfest for the next Most Powerful Man (or woman (probably man)) on Earth continued into my day off.

At this point, all I can do is hope that the Democratic back-and-fourth bickering will end soon so that we can finally get ourselves that dream ticket! I mean c'mon... we can't lose!