Bees. Why'd It Have To Be Bees....

Being a journalist on the front lines can be a dangerous job. Few of us can hold a candle to the war corrospondents of the world (and their photogs behind the lens!)... but those of us who don't go to war have our fair share of occupational hazzards as well. Don't believe me? Just drop in on the Schmuck Alert! website, where you can find an endless array of photog dangers.

But those of us who have been "In The Biz" for a while have learned to stay on our toes. There are certain stories that require an extra layer of caution and awareness to make sure we don't end up... well... on the Schmuck Alert! victims list. They are generally few and far between, but they are out there.

Now on the "Caution-O-Meter", your run-of-the-mill grass fire is not something that raises red flags. They happen all the time, usually beside a freeway from a careless cigarette or some guy who hit a rock with his lawnmower. It's what we call in "The Biz"... well... a common grass fire. And that's where I was shipped off to yesterday.

So I drove my live truck along a gravel backroad into the boonies, singing along to a classic Beastie Boys album (Licence to Ill, a necessity to any serious photog), ready to phone this one in. But as I rounded the corner towards the flashing lights, I realized something didn't seem right. Usually at grass fires, there are two things you'll see: grass and fires. This one had a bunch of white boxes stacked around the area. What is this about?

Turns out this fire, which consumed all of one acre, happened next some sort of bee farm (bee-ery?). Well, this certainly changes things!

So, under the threat of attack, I did what any good war corrospondent would do... I hit reverse and backed right the hell down that gravel road.

After a quick re-grouping, I designed a new strategey. I grabbed my camera, drove back out there, and shot everything through the windows of the live truck. Am I a coward? Some may call me that... especially given the firefighters battling that inferno among those stinging bastards....

But hey, I'm alergic to bee stings (at least I probably am...), so I wasn't about to take any chances! And besides, bee stings hurt! Like, really bad! So they can settle for shakey video from inside the truck. If they don't like it, they can come back out here and do it themselves.

That being said, I suppose the bottom line here is that I won't be headed to Lybia any time soon. Because seriously... the bees are big over there.

Yosemite's Burnin'

Every time I hear someone talking about Yosemite (although lately it hasn't been for the best reasons), I think about how I really oughta go check that place out. I've lived in Northern California for most of my life, and yet I have never visited one of the nation's great treasures. So... I decided to go.

And it turns out that it was just as glorious as I had heard: beautiful waterfalls, lush forests and blackened mountains. Wait, that doesn't seem right.


Oh right, turns out some jerk's camper caught fire and burned the place down. Bummer, eh?

The "Motor Fire," which is still burning as of press time (a week after starting), is proving to be one stuburn bastard (as far as fires go). This is primarily because it has spread into a hard to reach area, among some of "the most treacherous terrain in the country." Better call in the big guns!


Yes, I am referring to myself. I was called into action and got shipped off to this wild wilderness in the name of News... it was a 4 hour drive to the fire's command post, only to discover that the fire had burned over a ridge that couldn't be seen from where we were. Bummer.


But that didn't mean there wasn't news to be made! We lucked out and happened to stumble upon a river where helecopters were filling up their water supplies to attack this raging inferno.


Now every journalist has those days where they question their career path, whether it's because they're covering a story that they don't want to cover or witnessing somehting they don't want to see. But every now and again they get to cover something that is just flat out cool, and those days are what keep us going. This was one of those days for me, with three helicopters cycling over us to refill their water supply and dump on the hill we were standing beside. How many people get to see that in their average work day? I really have no reason to complain.


Although I must admit that every time I saw that helicopter, I couldn't help but think that it looked like the Dukes of Hazzard car, in helicopter form. Am I wrong? If they only honked the horn...

Anyway, we took off the next day, with the fire mostly under control and evacuees returning to their homes. We were never exposed to the crazy inferno that I had pictured on the way out, but that doesn't mean there wasn't still an element of danger to the whole endeavor...

Hey, it comes with the territory... but still, why'd it have to be snakes?

The Great Seabreacher Adventure

Perhaps a year ago, I was clocking away my time on this planet by wandering the vast interwebs of the net, when I stumbled upon a website that had these crazy boats shaped like dolphins. After searching around a bit, I noticed in the contact section that their phone number had an area code that semi-local... which means there's a chance I could craft together a television tale on their operation (and perhaps ride in one!). So I sent them an email.

By the time July of '11 rolled around, I found myself riding shotgun with with the inventor/CEO of The Seabreacher.


Of all the wacky and wild stories that I've covered in my extensive (compared to an intern perhaps?) journalistic career, I think this one takes the crown as my new favorite. It required a 3 hour drive to (and then back from) Redding, coupled with a 4:30 AM wake-up time, but damn was it cool!


The good folks at Innespace Productions build these amazing vessels themselves in a small shop, designing each to the exact specifications of the client. It will run you a pretty penny, but you're not gonna be finding any jet skis that can do what these puppies (baby dolphins are called "pups", right?) can.


Using two joysticks and foot pedals, you can dive beneath the water in the fully enclosed cockpit, then launch out into the air. It really is an impressive sight, but it's even cooler to be riding inside this beast.


He warned me about the dangers of motion sickness while riding inside a dolphin... but after surviving an air show stunt plane adventure, I figured I would have no problems. While the latte and breakfast sandwich stayed down (although there may have been a brief "panic" moment), I will say it was a wild ride.


We put together a little song-and-dance for sweeps, and it turned out pretty cool. Along with our station, it appeared on The Fox News Channel, the home page of Yahoo! and The Wall Street Journal Online. Not too shabby for spending a day on the lake.

So here it is... my grand adventure with "The Dolphin Boat"... The Seabreacher!


I've been trying to get the station to invest in some of these for "news gathering" purposes... but so far it's not going well. Guess times are tight.

Ballin' With the Kids

Damnit, kids have all the fun these days.

One day they're flying airplanes, the next they're shootin' hoops with NBA stars, like former Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans.

Back in my day, I only got to play ball with other talentless kids, which is the primary reason I give for my failed basketball career. Seeing the hopes and dreams in the eyes of these kids makes me both jealous and fussy.

I don't see why they couldn't make room for me in this summer camp. You know, I'd like to play basketball with celebrities too! Stupid kids hogging summer camp...

Still, I suppose it is good to see guys like this giving something back to the kids. A few years ago, Chris Webber had a similar to-do at his (now debunked) restaurant. He gave me a bobble head, and I never forgot him for it. It was a very special day. What did 'reke give me? Nada. He's made a powerful enemy...

Perhaps I will create my own Photocalypse summer camp, where stupid kids aren't allowed. I've even got one local celebrity committed to an appearance! Who wants in?

Flyin' With the Kids

Every day is a new adventure in the world of journalism.

Today, a seemingly benign story about a youth group expanding its horizons turned into a grander adventure than intended. The idea behind the program was to take 100+ kids out of their neighborhoods and show them new possibilities for their future. In this case, they were featuring the exciting world of aviation. And, as an added bonus, five winners of an essay contest were gonna get to fly in a plane! Nice and easy feel good story.

Now, I've been on some wild rides in the past... a stunt plane in an air show, an Air Force refueling plane, fire fighting helicopters... so a little cruise in a small plane seemed like an enjoyable afternoon.

So I saddled up with a pilot an an 11 year old kid from the "inner city", and we took flight. Once we were up a few thousand feet, the pilot let the 11 year old take the controls... and suddenly this whole story didn't seem like such a good idea.

Like any kid would, he took the controls and pushed forward a little harder than was necessary, directing the plane more and more towards the ground. He jerked it left, jerked it right, and by the time the pilot took control again I began to seriously question my decision to stow away on this flight. The Burger King I grabbed on the way over wasn't sitting too pretty either.

But I kept reminding myself that a trained professional was still in charge, and of course we landed safely. But golly, for a few seconds there I was wondering if this was going to be the end of my wildly successful (by some standards?) career as a journalist.

From now on, I'll just stick to jumping out of planes. Seriously, it is a little less frightening than having your fate at the hands of a pre-teen pilot.

And the kicker? When we landed I asked him what he thought of his day. His response: "I wonder if they will let me sit in that Lamborghini over there!" You just flew a plane!! Kids these days...

A Pretty Good Circle

In my younger days, I was a big metal head. I loved hard rock and I went to concerts every chance I got. Perhaps it was because I was completely incapable of playing any musical instrument myself (a brief stint with the clarinet in the 4th grade made this clear) that I got so excited to see big acts in action when they came to town. If nothing else, they were doing something that I only wished I could do, and that was worth my hard earned money.

Jump ahead 10 years, and you'll find that I'm still the same kid that gets stoked to see my favorite musicians in action. What's the difference these days? Well, I suppose I've gained a few pounds and lost a bit of hair... oh, and I'm a card carrying member of the Media Elite. While days at "the office" are often times tedious and stressful, every once in a while this job pays off in the form of something special... AKA access to something that normal people (or "normies") don't get to do. It's those days that justify the hours spent in brutal snow storms or deadly heat that us journalism junkies must routinely face every year. Is it worth it? Depends on who you ask... but today, I would say yes.

Back in my college days, I got hooked on a band called A Perfect Circle. Their second album, Thirteenth Step, came out my sophomore year, and when I listen to it today I still have flashbacks to the madness that was my higher education. Me and the crew made a road trip to Salem to check them out back then, and they were unlike any band I'd seen before.

So when I heard they were playing here in Sactown, I knew I couldn't miss out on catching up with my ol' college chums in APC.

Back together after a 7 year hiatus, the band, led by Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan, was just as awesome and strange as I remembered. Before the show even began, I noticed a sign stating that "Tonight's show is similar in nature to an opera or a film. Any disturbance from the audience will compromise the quality of the performance." Not what you'd expect to find at your typical rock show...

But APC is far from your typical rock band. No pyros, no video screens, and no spotlights. Just a bunch of musicians playing their music perfectly. For the entire show, Maynard was little more than a silhouette against the background lighting, barely even acknowledging that the audience was there.

But that's just part of what the band seems to be all about. Creating an experience, not just your run-of-the-mill rock concert. Aside from Tool, I've never seen a show comparable to what these guys put on, and that's one of the reasons that I keep coming back.

It should also be noted that photo restrictions were surprisingly strict for this show. I was the only photographer there, and they only allowed me to shoot the first two songs (usually it's three). After those two songs, I had to take the camera back to the car before I could watch the rest of the show, and throughout the performance, anybody whipping out their cell phone for a snap was quickly accosted by the venue security. They weren't kidding about those warnings... these guys were there to put on a performance, and they didn't want any distractions. While that is kind of a bummer for fans that want to brag about their evening on Facebook... I still think that's pretty awesome, and helps add to the mystique of the band.

But they played a solid 90 minutes, and left the crowd in awe. It was much more of an "experience" that your typical rock concert tends to offer, and I was very much impressed. Glad to see these guys are back around so that I can relive my "youth".

Tesla's in Town

There are a few names out there that are synonymous with the city of Sacramento, and the compitition to be at the top is always fierce. But now that Arnold has gone along on his merry way, a classic group of rockers are finding that they can reclaim their spot at #1.

Hometown heroes Tesla made an appearance in Sactown (as they do with some regularity) for the release of their new album yesterday. I was disappointed to find the CD wasn't simply 12 remixed versions of Love Song, but the frenzied Sacramentans that packed Dimple Records didn't seem to mind. Guess we all have different standards.

The boys cranked out a few acoustic tunes for the audience before firing up their pens and signing everything that came their way. But they weren't the only Sac Celebs in the house...

Guitarist Frank Hannon and bassist Brian Wheat stepped away from the hullabaloo for a quick photo with the Central Valley's most famous mustached beta tape.

It's a little scary to see so much celebrity power in one place... but it's nice to see all the big timers can get along. Perhaps... love will find a way?