There are many stories that survive through the ages, passed down from generation to generation so that their children's children may learn of their historical heritage and rich cultural history. There are certain moments in time that will forever live on in the pages of history books. I was pleased to be a witness to one such event, a moment in history that can never be replicated, but which had lasting effects that ripple even through today's modern society. While sorting through my personal archives, I came across some historical documents that reminded me of this momentous occasion, and while most in the general populous know this story well, I felt that it was worth retelling from my own point of view. Thus, I submit to you:
The Freshman Year Cabin Party
The concept was a simple one: 10 cases of beer, 5 young men, 1 raging weekend. A member of our freshman dormitory gang happened to have a cabin up on the Hood River (a river made famous by a certain inexpensive and thus highly toxic alcohol, HRD). It was early February of 2002, only 5 months into our college experience, and we smelled adventure on the air.
Using the combination of an available older brother and a local bum named Maddy, we amassed 10 cases of various beers one fateful Friday afternoon. Why 10 cases? Well, it just seemed like a good round number.
Exactly how much beer is in 10 cases? Well, give or take a few, about this many:
(Actually, that's only about 7 cases... and the vegetable and meat
drawers are full as well)
The concept was a simple one: 10 cases of beer, 5 young men, 1 raging weekend. A member of our freshman dormitory gang happened to have a cabin up on the Hood River (a river made famous by a certain inexpensive and thus highly toxic alcohol, HRD). It was early February of 2002, only 5 months into our college experience, and we smelled adventure on the air.Using the combination of an available older brother and a local bum named Maddy, we amassed 10 cases of various beers one fateful Friday afternoon. Why 10 cases? Well, it just seemed like a good round number.
Exactly how much beer is in 10 cases? Well, give or take a few, about this many:
(Actually, that's only about 7 cases... and the vegetable and meatdrawers are full as well)
The weekend was indeed a rager: campfires, drunken injuries and rockin 80's classics fueled the madness as the fridge slowly worked its way towards empty.
Here are a few highlights from the mythic days spent in the mountains:
Legend #1: SVENNY
What happens when you have 10 cases of beer? Why, you have 10 empty boxes! Now, what's a drunken student of higher learning to do with all these boxes? Build a robot, of course!
Thus, Svenny was born. You think those Transformers are cool? I'd rather party with this robot any day. I mean, just look at the hat!
Legend #2: THE BRIDGE
Not too far from the cabin we found the Hood River. A fine river by any measure, but there was one issue... There was a small island only about 10 feet off from the shore and, it being winter and all, the river carried with it a mighty chill. Thus, there was no available access to this island. Well, 10 cases of beer and an ax felt otherwise...
After chopping down only a small number of trees, we managed to fashion ourselves a fine bridge.
Once again, Mother Nature falls to the power of Man. How do you like that, hippies?
Legend #3: CHUCKO!
By now, most have heard of the maniacal debauchery of a creature known to the world as Chucko. However, at this point in time, Mike's alter ego had yet to emerge in our presence. Sure, we knew Mike enjoyed to hit the bottle time and again, and who doesn't? Our dorm was known for various sub-legal exploits, however we had yet to come across this spawn of Satan until this weekend. It was, indeed, our introduction to Chucko.
Out in the woods, there was a treehouse-like deck raised off the ground about 8 feet or so. Next to it was a tire swing. Well, after consuming various beers on our newly claimed island...
...Mike, or "Chucko", as he was calling himself, decided that it was his duty to swing from the elevated deck on the tire swing. Given the high probability of failure, none of us were about to stop him.
(Take note of his wet leg... he fell off the bridge a few times)
Be that as it may, this failure did not deter Chucko... he was right back up there to try it again...
...and again...
By the end of the weekend, he did not once swing successfully from the deck. However, he sustained hip injuries that still haunt him to this day.
This journey into nature was only the first of several throughout our college years. While certainly being the most infamous, there are certainly untold tales that may emerge with time. Until then, the memory of the original cabin party will continue to fuel my nightmares, and perhaps yours, as well.
Here are a few highlights from the mythic days spent in the mountains:Legend #1: SVENNY
What happens when you have 10 cases of beer? Why, you have 10 empty boxes! Now, what's a drunken student of higher learning to do with all these boxes? Build a robot, of course!
Thus, Svenny was born. You think those Transformers are cool? I'd rather party with this robot any day. I mean, just look at the hat!Legend #2: THE BRIDGE
Not too far from the cabin we found the Hood River. A fine river by any measure, but there was one issue... There was a small island only about 10 feet off from the shore and, it being winter and all, the river carried with it a mighty chill. Thus, there was no available access to this island. Well, 10 cases of beer and an ax felt otherwise...
After chopping down only a small number of trees, we managed to fashion ourselves a fine bridge.
Once again, Mother Nature falls to the power of Man. How do you like that, hippies?Legend #3: CHUCKO!
By now, most have heard of the maniacal debauchery of a creature known to the world as Chucko. However, at this point in time, Mike's alter ego had yet to emerge in our presence. Sure, we knew Mike enjoyed to hit the bottle time and again, and who doesn't? Our dorm was known for various sub-legal exploits, however we had yet to come across this spawn of Satan until this weekend. It was, indeed, our introduction to Chucko.
Out in the woods, there was a treehouse-like deck raised off the ground about 8 feet or so. Next to it was a tire swing. Well, after consuming various beers on our newly claimed island...
...Mike, or "Chucko", as he was calling himself, decided that it was his duty to swing from the elevated deck on the tire swing. Given the high probability of failure, none of us were about to stop him.
(Take note of his wet leg... he fell off the bridge a few times)Now, logic dictates that as long as he holds onto the swing, he should do just fine. However, physics dictates otherwise...
Be that as it may, this failure did not deter Chucko... he was right back up there to try it again...
...and again...
By the end of the weekend, he did not once swing successfully from the deck. However, he sustained hip injuries that still haunt him to this day.This journey into nature was only the first of several throughout our college years. While certainly being the most infamous, there are certainly untold tales that may emerge with time. Until then, the memory of the original cabin party will continue to fuel my nightmares, and perhaps yours, as well.
1 comment:
that fridge shot is how I imagine the afterlife.
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