The Great Sushi Caper

"They can steal my fish, they can steal my sushi, but they can't steal my soul."

The words of a man standing at the edge of his breaking point, as he surveys the damage done by a duo of wily criminals on a rampage of greed and destruction. Owner of a popular Natomas sushi restaurant/sports bar, Ken Le recalls the numerous times his establishment has been the target of deviants and nogoodniks.

"You have the same song and dance year after year after year."

Natomas, an area of North Sacramento, consists mainly of apartment complexes and strip malls ("sprall"). With only four police officers per 10,000 residents in the area, Natomas is no stranger to crime. I can't even count how many times I've been out there to cover a story on a home invasion (my counting abilities get a little hazy once I reach around four or five).

Le has gotten used to the 4 AM phone call from his security company, where he is forced to get up, turn on his laptop, and watch through his security cameras as his restaurant is once again ransacked by local riffraff.

Fortunately, a new police substation is being placed in one of the many strip malls in the region, as Sacramento police desperately try to bring order to a community in dire need of a hero. This is what brought us to Le's establishment, as we had done stories on several of his unfortunate experiences with criminatliy in the past.

Well, what a coincidence... Le's restaurant was burglarized only a few days before, as two criminal masterminds pried their way into the restaurant's back door in search of loot and booty (the money kind). He was happy to bust out the security video and re-enact the evening's happenings.

What was taken? Nothing. Yes, apparently the "thievery" part of being a thief was left out of these thieves thieving lessons, because they failed to thieve a single thing. Here's how it went down:

2:30 in the AM. Using the cover of night, these prowlers crept to the back door of the restaurant. Wielding a crowbar (the preferred tool amongst the criminal community), they pried their way into Le's beloved restaurant.

Once in, they briskly darted towards the manager's office, clearly after something in particular.

Once there, they stood for a moment, looked around, and darted back for the door.

All together, the heist lasted about twenty seconds. Laptops, iPods and gallons of top-shelf liquor were left behind. The only real trouble they caused was breaking the door, which will cost the owner about $2,000.

After whipping out my old-school magnifying glass, I did some sleuthing of my own and came to this conclusion: They busted in... ran straight to the safe.... one said "Alright, crack the safe!"... the other said "What? I thought you knew how to crack a safe!"... together they threw up their hands and yelled "Uh oh. Let's get outta here! Waah!"... and out they went.

I presented my evidence to the police substation. They said they'd "look into it".

Criminals these days just don't seem to be as smart as they used to be. But I suppose if you were smart, you probably wouldn't do something stupid like rob somebody. Therefore, we are presented with the results of America's poor schooling systems: a $2,000 broken door.