High Rollin'

You're probably well aware at this point, but the economy has seen better days, Congress is an embarrassment, and an "awe shucks" hockey mom could be the next president. Yes, times are looking bleak. After the 2004 election, I went around proclaiming to my drunken college chums that John Kerry should run again in 2008 on the "I Told You So" platform. I got many-a-laugh, but few realized how right I would be. Maybe now people will listen to my drunken proclamations more often.

If only there was a way for us commoners to alleviate the pain and frustration that comes with today's economic woes.

Wait, I know... Segway Polo!!

That's right! Can't afford a horse? Got no room for a pool? Well the gentleman's game of polo is no longer restricted to the ultra-elite! All you need is a Segway, a stick and a ball, and you're ready to rock!

So what is there to it? Ya speed around on these little contraptions and hit a ball into a net! It couldn't be simpler! Hell, even your run-of-the-mill photog could figure that out!

So forget about the tanking stock market! Ignore that pesky election and that war that probably isn't even going on anymore. It's time to start enjoying life again! So head to your garage, grab a foam ball, some mallets and 8 or 9 Segways, and head down to your local park and/or gymnasium, and remind yourself that things really ain't all that bad!

Wait... how much does that little thing cost?!

Well I guess that explains the bumper sticker...