If somebody is really good at something that I can't do, then I'm happy to recognize it and, in many cases, applaud it. I can't fly a plane, so I have respect for those who can. I also can't play guitar, preform open heart surgery or do a backflip. To those who can, my hat is tipped in your general direction.
I also cannot eat 8 pounds of deep fried asparagus in ten minutes. I probably couldn't eat that much in ten years, and to be honest, I'm not sure I even want to try a single spear. But then, I don't aspire to greatness in the same fashion as others do.
The annual Stockton Asparagus Festival hosted another chapter in the always entertaining storybook of competitive eating competitions, and the big guns came out to play. World famous Kobayashi de-throner Joey Chestnut was front and center, flanked by pals Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti and Erik the Red. Oh, it is on.
The batter flew, the Kool-Ade splashed and the asparagus disappeared by the handful. I've seen some amazing things in my time, but never have I seen such a spectacular display of athleticism and grace. By that, I mean nobody puked, and that's really saying something.
As the spears settled and the time limit came upon us, one man stood triumphant, just barely edging out his companion-in-consumption. Could it be... did it really happen... Yes! Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti proved triumphant, consuming over 8 pounds of fried asparagus. That's... well, just disgusting.
Crowd favorite Joey Chestnut was a close second, followed by "the greatest rapper in the competitive eating circuit", Eric "Badlands" Booker. In the land of the hungry, these men stand as kings. And, like I said, I can't do that, so props to you fellas. Props.
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