On Yelping (or How I Learned to Love the Internet)

It wasn't all that long ago that I was standing on top of a soap box, hollering "MySpace is for douchebags". It's stupid and nobody should use it.

Shortly after, I started my first job out of college, and suddenly found myself surrounded by douchebags.

(As it turns out, I fit right in...)

(...but back to my point:)

I was surrounded by everyone at work clamoring over who-said-what on MySpace and how so-and-so posted a picture that had the entire newsroom gawking. Giving in to peer pressure, I sold my soul and climbed aboard. However, I insisted to the boys that I hadn't gone soft, it was just because of work. It's where everyone was sending stuff to each other, and I had to stay in the loop. Their cock-eyed glances showed doubt, but they allowed me to remain within the pride (mostly because I was the only one that actually had a job out of college).

A short while before that, a lil' lass known as Facebook came prancing onto college campuses. Requiring an official college email address to sign up, it helped those looking to reconnect with old pals and find people that were taking the same class. There was much reluctance, but I kept insisting that "I just wanted to see what the ol' high school crew was up to these days". That was my excuse, both to my friends and myself.

It has been several years now, and I've found myself in a different place. After renouncing MySpace in the name of Facebook, I find myself wandering through there more often than not, constantly bombarded with useless information and photos of old friends getting hammered. And I've noticed that I'm not alone. Everyone and their mother (yes, mothers are on there too) now has a Facebook account, and it's become as common as having a phone number. People ask at bars if they can find you on Facebook... If they say they only have MySpace, they are met with a grimace and a turn-away.

The world has changed, and at a lightning pace. So much so that I'm starting to have trouble understanding what kids are talking about these days. As I'm sure you have all noticed, this hip-and-happening trend has seeped its way into the world of Journalism, allowing people to think they're interacting with what's on their television (but really are just racking up hits on the station's website... ca-ching!). I've made my viewpoints on this clear in the past, so I'll move on to my point.

The next evolution has arrived: Twitter. Now, when I was growing up, to "twitter" someone meant something a whole lot different than what it does today. I will start off by saying that I have never been to a Twitter website. I do not have an account, and I am only vaguely familiar with its concept. And it's there that I'm taking my stand. There's so much crazy crap to get sucked into... do I really need to start again with another? I don't give a damn if my "Give Obama a chance" tweet scrolls across Rick Sanchez's CNN show; nobody cares to read it, and even if they did, they wouldn't pay attention because their own opinion is more important than mine. It's a silly gimmick... just a stepping stone in the slow evolution of combining television news with the Internet. It's inevitable, and one day it'll be something great... but right now, the last thing I want to see when I turn on the news is SexyAngel29's opinion on the AIG bonuses. I don't care. You don't care. But go to their website and you may see your comment on air.

Again, I digress. There's lots of new ways to get sucked into the Internet. Lots of ways to waste your life rather than going outside and interacting with the real world. It's easy to say that... but here I am blogging, while chatting with a coworker on Gmail chat and checking my Facebook account for updates... but still, I've confidently shot down Twitter and managed to avoid any new Internet addictions.

Then stupid Yelp came along and ruined it all.

In case you're unaware, Yelp is a website that allows you to write reviews for businesses. And damnit, they got me.

I've found myself sitting in a restaurant with poor service and thinking to myself "Oh, this is going on Yelp". I've stood in line at the post office for unreasonable amounts of time due to incompetent staff, and told myself, "Relax, you'll Yelp about this later and let the world know that those who work at the J street post office are morons". I'm not proud of my new addiction, but at least it's satisfying.

Give it some time, and perhaps restaurant managers will start worrying that every customer might be a food critic. Nobody wants to get a negative Yelp, so perhaps it's a way to start holding people accountable.

Or maybe it's just another gimmick, like Rick Sanchez reading one out of every 70,000 "tweets" on air.

Look... I've got a lot of opinions, and it's high time everyone hears about them. I'm not pleased to admit that I've got myself a new addiction... but at least I'm not wasting away on Twitter.