Here We Stay... There They Go?

Wednesday night, the Lakers were in town to play the Sacramento Kings. But this wasn't just any old NBA game... this could very well be the last game ever for the Sacramento Kings. Despite the noble efforts of fans, including the groups Here We Stay, Here We Build and Here We Sit (I really wanted to write "Here We Piss" over a urinal at the arena...), it appears as if the Kings are outta here. Of course I wasn't about to miss out on this monumental moment in Sactown history (or the chance to be on tv...) so I headed down to Arco Arena (I mean Power Balance Pavilion... yeah, I know...) to get a front row seat for the action.

But before the game started, the real action began. As we were setting up our live shot for the evening news on the court, Kobe arrived (hours before the game) to do some warm-ups (Note: Ron Artest arrived maybe 45 minutes before the game). Guess that's why they pay him the big bucks, right?


Now, mind you, I'm not used to seeing big-time celebrities around this place, so I was sure to snap a picture of the guy. But don't be mistaken, I'm no Lakers fan (and to be fair, I don't much follow the NBA (Maybe if we had a better team in town I would! (sorry, that was inappropriate))), but the guy's a big deal, and I had to keep my Facebook street cred up with the other photogs. He seemed cool with the picture snapping, as everyone else in the pre-game arena was doing the same thing.

After warming up, I noticed one of my photog bretheren was sitting only feet from the guy. Figuring he might get a kick out of having a few shots of him sitting next to Mr. Bryant, I started rolling. Seemed reasonable, but ol' Ko-Ko disagreed...



It was weird... as soon as he started yelling at me (I suppose I use the term "yelling" loosely...) my finger hit the record button to stop the camera. It wasn't that I was scared, it was more out of shock that he acknowledged my existence. The entire time, he ignored the cameras and fans as he warmed up, so as I was shooting him, it was more like watching him on TV. When he suddenly looked up and told me to knock it off... it was like having a tiger at the zoo glare at you and say, "move along, ya jackass!" Totally unexpected. Clearly, I'd never make it as a TMZ cameraman (and to be honest, I don't see that as a bad thing).

Once our sports guy arrived, he filled me in on Kobe's recent events in the media... which is probably what he was talking to those guys about (he was fined that same day). Whoops.


In the end, the Kings lost in overtime and Kobe didn't beat me up. Will they stay or will they go? It's still up in the air (as of press time). But if nothing else comes from this night, at least I can claim that I had an "exclusive 1-on-1 interview with Kobe Bryant."

Twister!

So we were preparing a fun little tale about a dog stolen from an animal shelter (with security video!), when word came across the wire that a twister had touched down a few miles from our location. "Holy crap!" I eloquently proclaimed as I grabbed my reporter and ran for the live truck. After the beast had passed, we slowly climbed out to survey the damage, and it was brutal.

BAM!! Fence knocked down!

POW!! Tree into salon!

SHAM!! Another fence knocked down!

WOAH BITCH! Roof panels fell off!

As I surveyed what remained of the Fairfield suburb, I stumbled across a NOAA storm chaser. "Good sir!" I pleaded. "Tell me, what brand of madness has devastated this humble burb?!

He explained to me that a tornado had indeed touched down. A devastating EF-ZERO tornado. Thinking back to that Jan de Bont film that I watched as a child about a disaster... what was it called? Speed 2: Cruise Control? Anyway, I seemed to remember that the big tornadoes were EF-FIVE or something? EF-ZERO doesn't sound nearly as cool (unless it involves some sort of futuristic racing!). Upon hearing that, my dreams of beginning a career as a TV storm chaser were dashed. It was brutal.

But it's just as well, cuz I don't really like getting rained on (once those socks get damp, they ain't gettin' dry till you get home). Oh well, back to stolen dogs I guess.

Red Rocker Back in the Sac

Yesterday, I was driving back from Ceres after a live shot... a good 90 mile (or so) drive. After a jolt, the CHECK ENGINE light came on in my Jeep, and the engine sounded like it was struggling. It seemed unable to shift into the higher gears, becaue driving at 60 MPH was putting it into 6000 RPM... the red zone! I litterally COULD NOT DRIVE 55... and it took forever to get back to the station. This is a true story.

The following day... Sammy Hagar made an appearance in Sactown (technically Roseville) for a book signing. Coincidence? I think not...

And when the Red Rocker comes to town, the people come out IN FORCE! Hundreds of people lined up in what might have been the worst weather of the past year... wind, rain, even tornadoes here and there... to catch a quick scribble from Van Hagar himself. One guy even flew in from Washington for this event. Damn.

But then, Sammy is no stranger to the Sactown region. You may remember his appearance at Raley Field last Memorial Day? It was good to get re-acquainted with the guy... although he wasn't available for an interview before the signing (AKA he didn't get a chance to chat with the Yellow Rocker Alfonzo Beta). Oh well, perhaps on his next visit.

Sure... Dan Aykroid, Chuck Liddell and Amy Smart made time to chat with him... but I'm sure Sammy's a busy man.

But no hard feelings, it was great to see Mr. Cabo Wabo himself in town (I went "way down South" years ago to his club in Cabo.... I can honestly say it was the most excellent quesadella I've ever had), and I would be more than happy to step out on the town and see him again. Perhaps next time he can scribble that lil' John Hancock across everybody's favorite yellow local celebrity.

Until next time, Sammy... we'll be waiting!

The (Simulated) Force

The Force isn't something you mess around with. It requires great training and discipline, for with great power comes great responsibility.

That's why Modesto PD brought their Force Options Simulator to town. Time to train some officers in the ways of the Force!

This big rig video game allows officers to play through a variety of scenarios while equipped with a gun, a tazer and pepper spray. Perched in the back of the truck is a mysterious puppet master, who watches and listens to the officer's performance and, with a stroke of the key, can change the situation from calm to hairy.

I was invited to give this training program a little go-round today. Fortunately, I've been training for this day since my early childhood days of playing Hogan's Alley on Nintendo.

So I climbed into this virtual reality trailer and faced off with... an intoxicated homeless woman wielding a pipe. And damnit, I wasn't about to back down! I AM THE LAW!

So yeah, suppose I'm not Force material. But hey, that lady won't be stealing my cans anytime soon! Case closed.

Land of Milk and Potatoes

I've never been one to turn down an adventure, and I've found that one of the quickest and easiest ways to find yourself on an adventure is to strap a board to your feet and hurl yourself down a mountain. Ever since I was 10 years old, I've been tearing up the slopes of Lake Tahoe (although it took several years before I really figured out how to do it (and stopped complaining to my dad for making me)). But eventually I caught on and it became one of my favorite adrenalin sources to tap into.

So a few years back, I decided that I was gonna start seeking adventure by way of throwing myself down the side of this country's finest mountains. 2 years ago, I ventured out to Beaver Creek in Colorado, opened the mountain with Ski Patrol, and tore that rocky crag to pieces.

What, that's all you had to offer? That John Denver's full of shit, man! Although I will say that Beaver Creek's ridiculous altitude certainly made the booze kick in quickly! Hoo-wee!

The following year, my mission for adventure drove me out to the snowy lands of Snowbird in Utah. I had to dodge a few Mormons and consume an abundance of low-alcohol beer in order to find that adventure, but damnit I wasn't about to be stopped!

For all it may lack, Utah certainly makes up for it in vertical dropage!

So for year 3 (or 4 if you include Tahoe), I made my out to the land of milk of honey: Sun Valley, Idaho.

I gotta say, this place is amazing. I always thought that Tahoe was great, but imagine Tahoe without any lines, without douchey snowboarders and without the traffic. After January's trip to Northstar (with at least a 30 minute wait at each lift), this place was such a breath of fresh air! Everybody seemed to be old and skiers, but that just means that nobody is going to be crashing into you after doing something stupid.

All the lodges were gorgeous too, and held a real sense of history. It felt like this old place (celebrating its 75th anniversary this year) was what all the other ski resorts were modeling their new develoments after. Just a really awesome place to hit the slopes.

So with that, I check off another state that I've adventured in, and slap another ski patch on my snowboard bag. Mission: Accomplished.

So what's next? I hear there may be a trip to Ol' Canada in the works for 2012. Oh yeah, we're going international... all in the name of adventure!

There's a New Sheriff (Back) in Town

It's no secret that California's seen its better days. But the old guy will be missed. Say what you will about his job performance... but it was friggin' cool to see the friggin' Terminator in my day-to-day business...

But then, he and I did have history together that's hard to forget. Oh Arnold, can you please do Kindergarden Cop 2 already?

But yeah, a new guy is running the party now, and he's made it clear that things are going to be done differently. Not just fiscally, but media-ly as well. For starters, rather than having press conferences at that boring old media room, we're gonna start doing things around a picnic table outside his office. Yup. A picnic table.

Pretty sweet, eh? The best part of this was that the press conference ended with his aides saying he was late for the next meeting. As he left, he pointed out that there was free coffee waiting by the door for everybody. "Hey, there's plenty of coffee over here! Why isn't anyone drinking the coffee? Come on people, we got coffee here!" He left his aides and grabbed a cup of coffee, encouraging everyone to join in. They kept saying he was late for the next appointment, but he kept chit-chatting with the good folks of the local media, saying "Grab some coffee! Why don't you have any coffee?"

Conan's out, Brown's (back) in. So far, I gotta say the newbie can throw a picnic way better than the last guy. But then, I guess he's done this before. Can he mend the battle-weary super state? I dunno, the last guy beat it up pretty bad (you remember what he did to the Predator, right? Way worse...), and if Predator 2 was any indication... this might suck pretty bad. But I'm ready to find out!

Beta Beer

So they got this place in town where they let you brew your own beer. I've made appearances there several times throughout my years in town, and to be honest.... the beer isn't great. But an associate of mine had a coupon that got us 50% off brewing... so I hopped on board and we brewed us up some beer.

Then there came the conversation (via gmail) about a labeling option. Somebody threw out the idea that perhaps ol' Alfonzo should be somehow involved in the process... and heck, I've never been one to turn down an Alfonzo appearance... so I found a computer at work with Photoshop, and blew 15 minutes (off the clock) rigging up a little to-do that could be featured on our bottles...

"Dr. Beta's Off Tha Grid Drank (Consumable Alcoholic Substance)" is about to hit the world by storm, so you better get ready to line up for the only alcoholic substance that guarantees less than 12% anti-freeze by volume! And I ain't kiddin', this sh*t is for real!

So get in line, sucka! Cuz Alfonzo is about to send you flyin'!! And (surprisingly) it's really quite consumable!!