Olympic Gold

There's nothing that can bring the world together quite like the Olympic Games, where countries square off to prove who's the goddamn best. And who's the best at claiming to be the best? USA! USA!

Just before the games, Photocalypse cameras caught up with local snowboarder Elena Hight, a member of the Team USA (yeah, THAT Team USA) halfpipe crew.

In the end, the talented shredder failed to score a medal. Unfortunate... but gold medals can be bought and sold on the internet with ease these days. Now a gold beta tape... there's something to be proud of.

We'll try to get a ribbon made up so she can wear it around her neck with pride. Perhaps he can tag along as a good luck charm for 2014! USA! USA!

The Life of a Wino

Times have been a little slow round the ol 'pocalypse ranch lately, which usually means that things have been too busy to waste time tappin' away at words that no one's gonna read. Being busy is a good thing though... not necessarily for a blog, but so it goes.

Adventuring has been happening, however, even though the winter months tend to be the slow season. This weekend, I decided to classy it up a bit with a trip to the big city with my better half.

On Saturday, we hit up the annual San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition at Fort Mason. I don't know if you've ever been to one of these, but it's gotta be any wino's vision of heaven.

From 2-5 pm, it's a full-on free-for-all with the best wineries on the West Coast. There must have been hundreds of bottles to sample (and re-sample). This is the kind of festival that really gives you a reason to celebrate.

Now as for myself, I've never been an expert in the world of wine. I couldn't tell much of a difference between a $2.50 bottle of Rite Aid wine and a $35 bottle of Francis Ford Coppola wine (doesn't that guy make movies anymore... or did he die?). That's not to say I can't appreciate a good bottle of wine... it's just that my wine purchasing is generally directed by how interesting or hilarious the label on the bottle is. I've come to learn that this isn't generally the best plan of action, and here's my theory as to why: If your wine sucks, but it has a funny name, stupid people will buy it anyway. I'm not proud to count myself among that demographic, but what can ya do. I'm a sucker for a picture of a dog drinking booze (or a "booze hound"... damn, I should open a winery!).

Here's a few examples... there was Big Dog, which somebody explained to me was owned by the same company that makes those Big Dog t-shirts that fat guys wear.

I don't know if that's true, but I must say that the wine actually tasted like the smell of one of those outlet stores. You know, kind of a leathery, new jacket smell. Maybe fat guys dig it, but I wasn't a fan.

I also came across the Side Job, which sounds enough like some sort of dirty sexual thing that it made me a bit uneasy.


I don't know what goes on in the "Side Job Cellars," but I can only assume it's something along the lines of that Kubrick movie... I think it was called Tom Cruise Goes to an Orgy. Wine wasn't bad though.

So, all in all, a fine adventure. Towards the end of the event, you could tell that the sold-out crowd was getting a little sloppy, as people were constantly bumping into each other and pushing in to get their last serving. Ah, the life of a lush. AKA a wino.

Urijah's Back in Sac

Local cage fighting celebrity Urijah Faber is back in his hometown and lookin' to kick some ass this Sunday at Arco Arena!

But first... all the fighters were to meet up at Urijah's gym to spit some game and talk their opponent into a blood-thirsty frenzy! Oh, this match-up is gonna be one for the ages! Gonna kill his wife and eat his children!! Aaah!

Well... not quite. Something that's always impressed me about this sport is that even though these guys are gonna beat the ever-loving-hell out of each other, they are totally civil and respectful to one another. They're shaking hands, laughing, goofing around with one another... what the hell is going on? Am I the only one that remembers how boxing used to be? Those two were gonna kill each other! It was gonna be murder and mayhem!

Well, that's how boxing was, and perhaps that's why it's no longer much of a commercial draw. To be honest, I was never a boxing fan or much of a mixed martial arts fan. That is, until a year or two back when I was sent to Arco to interview Faber before his match with Jens Pulver, along with a handful of other WEC contenders.

I had no idea what I was doing or who any of these people were, but I did what I could. Since I'd met all the contenders, I watched the fight on tv... and it was pretty cool. After that, I knew a few names and would watch whenever I came across one of 'em fighting.

So, some time later, here I am again with these guys, who I now recognize... at least a little bit. I had watched Urijah fight a few more times, and I stroll past his gym in downtown Sacramento all the time, plus I occasionally drink one of his No Fear energy drinks. So this time around, I kinda thought it was pretty cool to be on the mat with him while he warmed up.

Not only that, but Mike Brown, the dude that beat him last time he fought in town, came strolling into his gym.

They beat the hell out of each other (twice), yet both were totally relaxed and laughing the whole time they were there. Weren't either of them gonna eat some children? What the hell?

I will say local boy Faber is a cool guy. Very easy-going and approachable, even though he has every right to be a total douchebag. To prove it, he even spent some time training with another local celebrity you might recognize...

I wouldn't call myself a fan of cage fighting, but any time I see this guy going at it, I'm sure to stop and watch because it's always an impressive feat of athleticism and sportsmanship. Plus he beats the hell outta people. I'll be watching this Sunday on Vs., and I encourage you to do the same.

The Great Rose Bowl Adventure

If we take a trip back a few weeks, we'll recall a big win over Oregon State at the Civil War, a game that I had originally planned on attending. However, as the Ducks climbed in the rankings, I realized that they just might make it to the big game. I hated to miss out on the biggest civil war ever, but it was a gamble that I had to take. And I did. And it worked.

As the game ticked to a close, we (as in everybody) jumped into action in search of a pair of tickets. While Pops (a fellow Oregon alumni... yes, I grew up a fan) got on the horn, I ran down to the nearest candy store, as I had heard that tickets had been hidden inside five Wonka bars.

Long story short, Pops was able to call out some favors at the law school and managed to score us a pair of tickets. (It went something like this.)

So it was on, and here's how it went... You could call it Planes, Trains and Automobiles (or PT&A, as it's known in my house) Part II.

Unlike in previous years, this New Years Eve was spent in the safety and solitude of the parents' home. Unfortunate, as that night usually makes for some fine adventure tails, but the following day brought with it early morning demands, so it was a necessary sacrifice.

8 AM: We left for the Oakland Airport, hopping a flight to Long Beach.

11:15: Arrived at Long Beach Airport, hustled to a car rental joint, and saddled up in a Dodge Caliber. We hit I-710 into the heart of LA.

11:50: Parked at Union Station, where we climbed aboard the lightrail train, heading for Pasadena. Oregon train riders clearly outnumbered Ohio State train riders. So far, so good.

12:15: Arrived at the Memorial stop on the train line. Hearded through Pasadena for a good half-mile or so before arriving at the shuttles to the Rose Bowl.

12:35: On a bus now, taking the long way into the stadium. Old pals are texting, wondering where we are. Their drinking had begun.

12:55: Arrive at the Rose Bowl!

1:20: Finally get through the gates. Who the hell designed this place?

1:55: Finally get to our seats. The line to get into the tunnel was ugly and held up because they "couldn't have too many people going into the tunnel at once". Again... who the hell designed this place? 96,000 seats, you'd think there'd be an easier way to get in. Seriously.

2:00: Kickoff!!!

To my surprise, the plan actually worked flawlessly. We made it from Oakland to Pasadena in perfect time. I was tired, hungry and in need of a beer, but damnit, we were at the Rose Bowl!!

I managed to meet up with a few old pals who made the trip as well, a pair of which I worked with in New Zealand some years ago. One was a Duck, the other a Buckeye. In discussing the crowd, we agreed that there were indeed more Ohio State fans in attendance, but this is because there is nothing else to do in Ohio other than watch football. The Buckeye pal also admitted that Oregon girls are way hotter than Ohio State girls. The recognition was acknowledged and appreciated.

So, it was a good game for the most part. A few unfortunate errors cost the Ducks the game, and that's sad. But with so many returning starters, and considering that it's the coach's freshman year, it's not crazy to think that we might get another shot at it again next year. But I still love my Ducks, and am proud of their season (especially because they beat the hell out of both USC and Cal! Woo hoo!).

So... end of the game, we had to do it all in reverse... Bus, train, car, and finally the plane... which was delayed two hours. Walking around the airport, people kept giving me sad looks and shaking their heads in mourning (I was still wearing my Oregon attire). A lot of people were happy to see them at the Rose Bowl... or at least to see anyone but USC there. We got back home at 11:30 that night. It was a long-ass day with some unfortunate results, but it made for a fine adventure, and I'm proud to say that I was in attendance. Not a bad way to start the year.

Oh, and our chicks are still way hotter. That's something that Ohio State can never take away from us.

2009 Remembered

Well heck, it's been one hell of a ride this past year. We polished off the first decade of the 21st century with a handful of fine adventures, proving that the art of adventuring, much like fine wine, improves with age. So fire up the traditional slide show music as we take a look back at all that 2009 had to offer!

Not a bad year for adventuring. For the rough decade that it was, there were certainly good times to be had. I got a good feeling about 2010, and the second decade of the 21st century. Let's go find us some adventure!!

Bowling Season: Round 1

Haven't been posting much these days. That isn't to say there ain't plenty to write about... Just hit a lull in the motivation department. A life of adventuring, coupled with a recent transition to HD at the ol' shop, has had a tendency to drain whatever excess creativity I may have. But here's a quick adventure to recap, just so I don't end the year on a dull note-

Home in the Bay Area for Christmas. Enjoyed some family time and dressed the family dog in his traditional garb, which he can't seem to figure out how to get off:

For further adventures with Jasper and his garb, don't forget to enjoy last year's holiday classic!

While in the area, some fellow adventurees (former sidekicks from the Cancun adventure earlier this year) were kickin' around SF and wanted to get together for a few drinks in the city. While looking for something to do, we stumbled upon this year's Emerald Bowl at the SF Giants' stadium. USC vs. Boston College. Mind you, I have been a longtime despiser of USC... but hey, they've got beer, so why not.

I figured I consider myself a Pac-10 fan, so why not go and cheer on my conference. First off... turns out it was pissing down rain in SF that day. And one of our attendees was a local weather person... good call.

However, I've spent plenty a day getting rained on at football games, so it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. The USC fans, however, were a different story. Just the site of the red and yellow logo made my blood begin to curdle. Every time ol' Pete Carroll showed up on the Jumbo-Tron, I wanted to start cussing like a sailor. But that is all easy to brush off when you compare it to the hoards of douchebaggy fratboys that filled the stands, many of whom insisted on going shirtless despite the rain and frigid temps. You ain't at the Rose Bowl no more, jackasses. Get used to it.

In the end... apparently USC won. I couldn't tell you for sure because we left after the third quarter to head to a bar or two. It was cold, it was raining, and none of us cared about either of the teams. Oh, and they stopped serving beer after halftime. I guess it's a plus that USC won, since many of the Pac-10 Bowlers have failed to do so thus far, but I'm not about to call myself a fan... or even a mild supporter.

Heading to the Rose Bowl on Friday. Finally, a real football game!!